100 Geek t`shirts that do not suck

Being naked sucks.

Not for you, but the people around you. You might be living the geek dream, but a chubby belly, pale skin, and the muscle tone of a newborn calve isn’t doing anything for the people who have to look at you.

That’s why t-shirts are good.

(bad example, she probably looks good without a t-shirt)

Nerds like shirts-with-funny-things-on-them like a fat kid likes cake. I don’t know why; I’m not a psychologist (although I play one on the Internet). But you can use that to your advantage. It’s might be too late to order t-shirts online in time for Christmas, but I thought I’d continue my Gift Guide for Geeks by taking a look at some of the best shirt choices on several popular websites.

If you’re a t-shirt addict, you might want to check out some of these fine blogs that are devoted to t-shirts: addic[tee]d, Preshrunk, iloveyourshirt, and tcritic. I’m only doing this for one post; they do this all the time.

On to the t-shirts!

The usual yada-yada: if you disagree with my picks, or you think I missed something then leave a comment and I’ll update. There are no affiliate links in this post (//engtech is a hobby, not a business). I only directly link to the product for Threadless and Etsy, because I know they won’t break the link when my back is turned. Photos are from the respective websites. Am I missing a good store? Tell me.

Legend

• tg - Think Geek is one of the most well known geek stores on the Internet. Penny Arcade and Slashdot sell stuff through them. I’ve ordered from them before.


• jx - Jinx is a popular site with gamers. I’ve ordered from them before.


• pr - Phatrags is a site I hadn’t heard of before. More offensive than others.



• tsh - T-shirt Hell is another site with a lot of offensive t-shirts.


• gv - Geek Vogue is a European site. I hadn’t heard of them before but their email inspired this post.


• tl - Threadless constantly gets rave reviews from everyone who uses them and has a thriving community.


• ns - Nerdy Shirts is proof that StumbleUpon can be useful.



• fic - Found Item Clothing sells t-shirts you see in movies and on TV.
  
  ec - Enclothe.


• od - Oddica.


• et - Etsy (lots of handmade stuff here).

General

• Caffeine symbol (tg)
  
  


• <geek> (tg)
  
  



• Geek Inside (tg)


• geek. (tg)
  
  


• I’m with genius (tg)


• Keep out of direct sunlight (tg)



• Looking for a japanese girlfriend (in japanese) (tg)
  
  


• Carpe noctem - seize the night (jx)


• Jinx nerdcore (jx)
  
  


• hacker. (jx)



• This was supposed to be the future - where is my jetpack (tl)
  
  


• Want to buy it? (tl)
  
  


• Procrastinators: leaders of tomorrow (tl)



• The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog (tl)
  
  


• Nerds unite (tl)
  
  


• Nerd berd (tl)
  
  
  


• Evil genius (et)


• Analog (et)
  
  


• nerd (ns)
  
  
  

Pop Culture

• Who’s your daddy? (pr)


• I like it when you call me big poppa (pr)


• OB/GYN Kenobi (tsh)



• Darth Vader hedge death star (tl)
  
  


• What would Mcgyver do? (tl)
  
  


• E.T. phone home (tl)
  
  
  


• Ping pong Vader (od)
  
  


• Abandon Ship (od)
  
  


• Optimus Prime (et)

For The Ladies

• I heart my geek (tg)
  
  


• /usr/bin/girl
  
  


• Totoro face (tg)



• Modo-Kun face (tg)


• Press and hold X to pick up (jx)


• I am your webmistress you must submit (jx)
  
  


• pr0n (jx)
  
  
  


• Talk nerdy to me (jx)
  
  


• Cuddletron 5000 (et)
  
  

Kids T-Shirts

• Newbie (tg)


• v2.0 (and v1.0 for the parent) (tg)

Bloggers

• I’m blogging this (tg)
  
  
  


• blog (tl)
  
  

Internet Culture

• NSFW (tg)


• Meh (tg)
  
  
  


• STFU university (tg)
  
  


• OMFG - Ontario Mega Finance Group (tg)
  
  


• THE INTERNET: All of the piracy, none of the scurvy (jx)



• Every time you download music, god kills a kitten (jx)


• Diggnation (jx)
  
  


• Ninjas and pirates agree: cowboys suck (tl)



• Free hugs (ns)
  
  


• On the Internet I’m a 15 Year Old Girl (ns)
  
  


• I Heart Google (ns)
  
  


• Ninja Pirate (ec)
  
  
  

Computers

• I read your e-mail (tg)
  
  


• No, I will not fix your computer. (tg)


• There’s no place like 127.0.0.1 (tg)
  
  
  


• Practice Safe Hex (tg)
  
  


• Power symbol (tg)
  
  


• Got root? (tg)
  
  
  


• I see dead pixels (tg)


• You say “bug”, I say “feature” (gv)


• The Architect (gv)


• Ctrl z (tl)
  
  
  


• Stat city (tl)
  
  

Robots

• Robots need hugs too (jx)
  
  
  


• (sad robot) (tl)
  
  


• Robot dance contest (tl)
  
  


• Trainman (od)
  
  
  


• Snailbot (od)
  
  


• Bleedbot (ec)
  
  

Gamers

• FF - Caught in the Act (Penny Arcade fans) (tg)
  
  
  


• FF - Apocalypse (Penny Arcade fans) (tg)
  
  


• Jesus says “Don’t be a dick.” (tg)
  
  


• Jesus is my guild leader. (tg)
  
  


• Insert coin: the evolution of man kind. (tg)
  
  
  


• Leeroy Jenkins - School of Welp Training (tg)
  
  


• It’s not my fault you suck. (tg)


• I hate Jack Thompson. (tg)



• 1up mushroom (tg)


• The Horde (jx)
  
  


• /dance (jx)
  
  


• Green linen shirt (lvl5 chest armor) (jx)
  
  
  


• pwnstar (jx)
  
  


• Live in your world, get pwned in mine (playstation style) (jx)


• Wiid (tsh)
  
  


• Wii-tarded (tsh)



• Your mom: Rated E for everyone (tsh)
  
  


• Nintendo family tree (ns)
  
  


• Gamer nostalgia (ns)
  
  

Roleplaying

• Rogues do it from behind (tg)
  
  


• I roll 20s (tg)
  
  


• +20 Shirt of Smiting (tg)



• -1 STR / +1 CHA (tg)
  
  


• I am not a geek (i’m a lvl 12 paladin) (jx)


• Guns don’t kill people - magic missiles do (jx)


• RPG skeleton (jx)
  
  
  


• Jesus saves… and takes half damage (jx)


• Critical hit (d20 cutting through skin) (jx)


• NPC (jx)
  
  


• My other sword is vorpal (jx)



• Carpe DM - seize the dungeon master (jx)


• (monster cuts off hand with sword) (tl)